"Pirate Teeth - The Scourge Of The High Seas..."

"Are Pirate Teeth An Oxymoron?"

Pirate teeth is what you get when there is no dentist around to take care of your pearly whites. I never met a pirate who knew anything about dental care let alone oral hygiene.

Pirates didn't have any toothpaste and the only brushes they had were for swabbing down the decks. It was hard to get one of those brushes into your mouth.

Most pirates lost all their teeth at sea. Those pirates that managed to save a few remnants of teeth had the ugliest smile this side of Davey Jones Locker.

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The pirate ship was Halitosis Heaven. When a pirate said, "Blow the man down", his breath did the trick. He didn't even need a cutlass or a flintlock pistol.

And why do you think pirates were always saying "Aaarrgghh!" It was because their teeth hurt, if they had any left. The pirate ship was Toothache City. That's why they drank all that rum. It killed the pain - numbed the brain.

Are you having trouble getting your children to brush their teeth?

If they are into pirates, here's a great book to get them brushing.

They don't want to have green teeth or no teeth, do they?