Another Tuesday Letter is here. If a picture is worth 1000 words and you can see it is food, plus it has a 5 star rating. It quickly is on the way to be in my newsletter. Lets give it a go:
Recipe by: MLYIN and posted on www.allrecipes.com
"Rich, tasty, and easy to make with delicious, on hand ingredients! Serve with egg noodles, if you want."
Canadian Pork Loin Chops
2 tablespoons olive oil, divided
4 boneless pork loin chops, pounded thin
1 large onion, sliced
½ teaspoon sugar
2 teaspoons chili powder
½ teaspoon fennel seeds, crushed
½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 (8 ounce) can tomato sauce
2 fluid ounces water
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
salt and pepper to taste
Heat the oil in a skillet over high heat, and quickly brown the pork chops on both sides. Transfer chops to platter, and keep warm.
Reduce skillet heat to medium, and cook the onion until tender. Mix in the sugar, chili powder, fennel, red pepper flakes, and oregano. Stir in the tomato sauce, water, and Worcestershire sauce, and bring to a boil.
Return the pork chops to the skillet. Cover, reduce heat to low, and cook 10 minutes. Remove cover, and continue cooking 15 minutes, or to desired doneness.
From 2017 March Snippets . . .
Did you hear the one about the CIA spying on smart TVs, smart phones, and other devices? Are you truly surprised?
WikiLeaks has released a huge set of files that it calls "Year Zero" and which mark the biggest exposure of CIA spying secrets ever.
The massive set of documents – over 8,000 pages in all – include a host of hacking secrets that could embarrass intelligence agencies and the US government, as well as undermining spying efforts across the world.
Here are six of the biggest secrets and pieces of information yet to emerge from the huge dump.
1) The CIA has the ability to break into Android and iPhone handsets, and all kinds of computers
2) Doing so would make apps like Signal, Telegram and WhatsApp entirely insecure
3) The CIA could use smart TVs to listen in on conversations that happened around them
4) The agency explored hacking into cars and crashing them, allowing 'nearly undetectable assassinations'
5) The CIA hid vulnerabilities that could be used by hackers from other countries or governments
6) More information is coming
The documents have still not been looked through entirely. There are 8,378 pages of files, some of which have already been analyzed but many of which haven't.
How do you know your new smart light bulbs and toothbrush are secure? Well, wonder no more. Consumer Reports is going to start rating products on data security and privacy.
Hey, your cool new robot may be a security risk. Sarah Connor is getting ready. (Not security related, but some will have real skin that can be harvested for medical reasons. Some Called a nondeterministic universal Turing machine (NUTM), it's predicted that the technology could execute all possible algorithms at once by taking advantage of DNA's ability to replicate almost perfect copies of itself over billions of years. Some have the ability to play games. Time to Fold, Humans: Poker-Playing AI Beats Pros at Texas Hold’em. The feat represents a leap forward in developing artificial intelligence that can learn with incomplete information and this will really make Sarah’s head explode.)
You have to love Scientific American.
My book arrived in the mail and here is fruit salad dressing that I promised. This is more than ½ a century old (66 years actually) I would call it a substitute for sweet sour sauce if needed. From Amy Vanderbilt’s ‘Complete Cookbook,’ my 49 cents well spent.
Honey Dressing for Fruit
2/3 cup sugar
1 teaspoon dry mustard
½ teaspoon paprika (sweet)
1/4 teaspoon powdered cloves
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup honey
1/3 cup cider vinegar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon grated onion
1 cup salad oil
Combine dry ingredients, mix with honey, vinegar, lemon juice, and onion. Add oil gradually, beating smoothly. Makes about 2 cups dressing.
I have been seeing the word ‘meme’ frequently lately. I thought it would just pass and was one of those fad type new words that pop up every so often. I truly did not know its origin or its meaning.
I finally had to look it up when I saw the joke . . .”Chuck Norris, who ever heard of her.” Then the next line said, “This is a greatest meme of all time.” My computer considers the word ‘meme’ a misspelled word. I have had the word added to my computer’s dictionary.
Definition of meme
1 : an idea, behavior, style, or usage that spreads from person to person within a culture
Memes (discrete units of knowledge, gossip, jokes and so on) are to culture what genes are to life. Just as biological evolution is driven by the survival of the fittest genes in the gene pool, cultural evolution may be driven by the most successful memes. — Richard Dawkins
2 : an amusing or interesting item (such as a captioned picture or video) or genre of items that is spread widely online especially through social media
… the band encouraged fans to make memes to advertise the U.S. release of their EP … — William Gruger
The grumpy cat meme frowned its way onto the Internet in September 2012 and never turned its dissatisfied head back. Since then, the image of the cranky cat has grown more and more popular in direct proportion to appearing less and less impressed by fame. — Anastasia Thrift
memetic play \me-'me-tik, m?-\ adjective
… the exhibition seeks to give a sense not only of Holmes's origins but of the real-world milieu in which Conan Doyle set him and of his memetic spread through the culture. — Sam Leith
Just an FYI, it is pronounced (meem) and is in the list of the top 1% of words that are currently looked up. Now I do not feel so bad as I am not the only one.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.
If you ever feel you are worthless remember that you are full of expensive organs.
It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
Always remember that you’re unique, just like everyone else…
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
From the Blog www.SivanaSprit.com East
Lifting Spirits (from the same Blog)
We are all beings of vibrating energy with a measurable frequency. This is pure physics!
However, you don’t need to understand science to know when you feel “off!” If you are feeling down, your vibration needs to be raised!
Here are 10 ways to easily raise your vibration when you are feeling down:
1) Go Outside
The flow of air, even if it is cold or raining, will instantly lighten you up. Sit against a tree. Watch a sunrise or sunset. Put your feet in the dirt. Connecting to nature is one of the fastest ways to feel better.
2) Take a Walk
Getting your heart rate up is one of the best ways to lighten you up. Just a brisk 10-minute walk will change the energy flow of your body. The endorphin rush is an added bonus!
3) Soak in the Tub (or Swim in the Ocean)
Pour two cups of Epsom or Himalayan salt into a running bath. Soak for at least 20 minutes.
Add lavender essential oil if possible.
The salt will instantly clear your aura and aids in dispelling the heavy energy.
4) Hold a Crystal
Crystals come from the earth and are not influenced by emotions or stress. They have a pure energy as long as they are cleared. Each crystal has a different vibration.
Trust that whatever you are drawn to is what you need. First, clear it by washing in water. Next, charge it in the sun. Then, hold it in your hand and notice if you can feel any energy coming from it.
My favorites are selenite, amethyst, clear quartz, and rose quartz.
5) Dance to Some Music
Music is a natural stress reliever. If you are feeling down, it sometimes is hard to motivate yourself to move. Put on something upbeat that you have a positive association with.
The good memories will give you a boost, and it might just get you up on the dance floor.
Just listening to the music helps, but you get the added benefit of endorphins when you shake your hips!
6) Pet a Dog or Cat
There is a reason why people love animals so much.
They love unconditionally and make us feel better just by being in their presence. When you cuddle with your pet, notice the shift in your vibration as your energy aligns with theirs.
7) Take Deep Breaths
Just the act of taking three deep breaths causes the autonomic nervous system to calm down.
In plain English, that means that you instantly feel better and less stressed!
Breathe in through your nose and exhale audibly through your mouth.
8) Shower Yourself in White Light
This simple visualization has immense healing benefits!
See yourself standing under a showerhead where brilliant white light is pouring over your head and working its way down your body, taking everything that no longer serves you with it down into the Earth.
If you can do this visualization in the shower, even better!
The moving energy of the water combined with the imagery makes it a powerful exercise.
9) Tap Your Chest
Your thymus gland is located in the center of your chest. When you thump it, a la Tarzan, you are stimulating your energies, boosting your immunity, and releasing stress.
Tap it for 15 seconds while taking deep breaths and repeating, “All is well.”
Sometimes, rest is really the only thing that will make us feel better.
In this sleep-deprived society, taking a nap is sometimes the best fix for what ails you. Honor this need!
Try these tips when you need a lift. By raising your vibration, you naturally feel better!
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A robber was robbing a house. All of a sudden someone said, "Jesus is watching you!"
"What? Oh well," said the robber and he went back to work. When he started to pick up the VCR, he heard the voice again,
"Jesus is watching you!" it said again.
This time the robber pointed his flashlight at the voice and asked, "Who said that?
" It was a parrot. "I'm Moses," said the parrot.
"Who in the world would name you Moses?" asked the robber.
The parrot answered, "The same man that named the pitbull in the corner Jesus!"
I will see some of you at exercise. Stay well another week.
For a copy just put letter in subject line and email firstname.lastname@example.org
For some older letters visit the bottom of www.capecod-beaches.com
Once again on the road,
From Orlando we went north to the Florida town that is farthest to the west, so far west it is in the next time zone, which is central. With Patty retired we are both now on a fixed limited income so to save money we decided to stay in government quarters. Our first try is with the Navy and I must say it is very nice, both clean and comfortable. We are located on the Naval Air Station, of Pensacola, Florida (www.dodlodging.net) ; we reserved three days using the Navy Gateway, Inns and Suites. What is great about this base is the location is right on Pensacola Bay so we have a beach. It is home to the Naval Air Museum, and a lighthouse. Another great thing is the Navy’s Blue Angels practice here probably twice a week. I will need to take a few pictures and Patty wants to get some autographs for the grand kids.
Last night we went into the city of Pensacola to eat at one of America’s great steakhouses, McGuire’s Irish Pub. Many of my friends would like this place as many drinks are in the $3 to $4 range. The walls were covered with money; my estimate is over 1 million, every square inch of the ceiling and walls down to about 3 feet. The money is not flat on a flat surface but hung perpendicular. There is so much money that sound does not carry and the Irish music is muted. They make all their beer and I had a red lager named, McGuire’s Irish Red. Patty drank something called an Emory Chenoweth, not sure what it contains but probably 10 inches high and only $3.50. My taste of it was delicious. There was a drink with a limit of 3 per person, served in an old fashion quart size Mason jar from the local cemetery, called “The Irish Wake” at a cost of $9.99. The seating capacity of this place was very close to 800 or 900 people. The parking lot was perhaps five acres. Many pictures of famous people are on the walls, more than one can imagine.
Day two: We went to the Naval Air Museum. It is huge and extensive, over 150,000 square feet and four stories high. One day is not enough, as there is so much history from WW1, through today. If I was going to say which is bigger the USAF or the USN, I would go to the USAF at Wright Patterson AFB. Pensacola trains most of the Naval Aviators if not all, some became very famous and some were our past presidents. Their planes and log books will be enshrined here forever.
There is a lighthouse on the base which posed nicely for some pictures. You can look up http://www.pensacolalighthouse.org/ there is also a museum attached. This is still a working lighthouse kept up by the Coast Guard.
The last day was a visit to a fort. It was Fort Pickens National Park. From the fort we watched the Blue Angels practice maneuvers, our very own private air show. There were six planes and they kept passing over and around the fort then back to the base and up into the sky. A great day especially after we left the fort for a nearby beach that gets 4.9 stars out of five. It was not crowded at all and many have said it is the best beach in the Eastern United States, Langdon Beach. If I return to Pensacola, I would stay at the Naval Lodge as it is closer to the museum and lighthouse with its own private beach. The beach used by the Inn I was in although also on base but perhaps two miles away, without the seclusion afforded by the lodge.
The next day we are off to stay on Joint Base Charleston, currently commanded by the A.F... We are staying at an Air Force Inn once again; it will be the least expensive nights of our trip. Unlike the old days when there were many clubs, the military has sort of made drinking out of vogue. Only one club on base now and this one had Bingo on the evening we arrived, however our arrival was an hour late to catch the entire evening’s game. There were two guaranteed $1,000 prizes included this evening along with all their normal prizes. We just ate in the Grill portion of the club, ran to the commissary and then back to our room. If anything was funny, we saw many open parking spaces in front of the club. Only trouble was the first 2 were for General Officers, the next 4 were for Colonels, then a few for Commanders of local units and the club manager. There was a group set aside for the E-9 enlisted also. I parked in the back.
We made our reservation again by using www.dodlodging.net for those active or retired military members with proper identification. I tried to read the regulation (AFI 37-135 24 September 2014) to see if DoD Civilian guests are authorized, as in the past I have stayed with DoD Civilians with Temporary Duty Orders while we were having required environmental training and could not decipher the policy. There are so many exceptions and rules I feel DoD Civilians with DoD ID cards might be eligible.
I did notice that rule 39 includes: Other DoD ID card holders not on official business to include disabled veterans.
It almost looks like many people are authorized so probably the best thing is just check and confirm eligibility.
Ok, off to Fort Sumter, the place where the American Civil War Began. Decades of growing strife between north and south erupted in civil war on April 12, 1861, when confederate artillery opened fire on this Federal fort in Charleston Harbor. Fort Sumter surrendered 34 hours later. Union forces would try for nearly four years to take it back. You can’t drive to it so we took a ferry. The place where the ferry started there were two naval ships the USS Yorktown (CV/CVA/CVS-10) is one of 24 Essex-class aircraft carriers built during World War II for the United States Navy. She is named after the Battle of Yorktown of the American Revolutionary War, and is the fourth U.S. Navy ship to bear the name. I did not catch the name of the destroyer.
This is a National Park so once again I got to use my park pass. If you are 62 or over you should spend the $10 for one of the passes. Once you pay the fee all National Parks are free for life, this includes the National Seashore on the Cape. I have got my $10 back many times over already and I bought it 3 or 4 years ago.
This is also the area my father went to college, he attended the U.S. military Academy called, “The Citadel.” His study was chemical engineering. This was also the start to get his commission and join the army’s, 101st Screaming Eagles and become a paratrooper during WWII. I did not have time to visit the Citadel museum so I might have to return on another trip.
I am not sure if I can call these vacations anymore. Where we are retired now I would say they are just trips, excursions or adventures.
Many of my friends know I was once a Democrat who was a McGovern supporter. While I was stationed in Texas I shook McGovern’s hand by the Alamo, in San Antonio , during a rally. This particular political party left me behind many years ago.
Great Orators of the Democrat Party – PAST:
"One man with courage makes a majority." ~ Andrew Jackson
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"The buck stops here." ~ Harry S. Truman
"Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for country." ~ John F. Kennedy
Great Orators of the Democratic Party today:
"It depends what your definition of 'is' is?'' President William Jefferson Clinton
"Those rumors are false. I believe in the sanctity of marriage." ~ John Edwards
"What difference does it make?" (Re: Benghazi) ~ Hillary Clinton
"I invented the Internet." ~ Al Gore (he did however vote to provide tax payer money for it’s startup)
"America is, is no longer, uh, what it, uh, could be, uh, what it was once was, uh, and I say to myself, uh, I don't want that future, uh, for my children." ~ Barack Obama
"I have campaigned in all 57 states." ~ Barack Obama (Quoted 2008)
"You don't need God anymore; you have us Democrats." ~ Nancy Pelosi (Quoted 2006) (A really, really stupid remark.)
"Paying taxes is voluntary." ~ Sen. Harry Reid
"Bill is the greatest husband and father I know. No one is more faithful, true, and honest than he is." ~ Hillary Rodham Clinton (Quoted1998)
"You have a business. You didn't build that. Someone else did!" ~ Barack Obama (Quoted 2012)
And the most ridiculous gem of wisdom, from the "Mother Superior Moron": "We just have to pass the Healthcare Bill to see what's in it." ~ Nancy Pelosi (Quoted March, 2010)
(As one Doctor said: “That is also the perfect definition of a stool sample.”)
A Great Republican: "Life is tough! It's even tougher when you are stupid.'' ~ John Wayne
Now I am on the Delmarva Peninsula and staying with a Navy Inn again. The internet and password are the same so my computer is happy. We drove all day (8 hours), had breakfast when we left but decided to have a nice dinner after we checked into Wallops Island, home of Surface Combat System Center (SCSC). It is located on a 6 square mile island with NASA. There are so few people around it is weird. The gate guard would open the gate electronically from his guard shack to let us in and out. The gate was roughly a 10 foot high fence on rollers. On my arrival there were about 8 men cooking on a bar-b-cue grill before they disappeared. This was the most people I saw during my entire stay. No base exchange, no club, no gas station, no commissary, just 3 or 4 buildings, a parking lot and a guard shack. The big building being what looked like a school for Navy training of Combat Systems. The gate guard could jog around all the buildings in probably 5 minutes.
One funny thing, other than the ghost base item above. A room is $70 and a suite is $70. I took the suite, being the bargain hunter, penny pincher that I am. All suites are on the second floor and all rooms on first floor. The furniture in the rooms was sort of early Virginian, which was ornately carved cherry wood, no fiber board here, not even plywood. Much better furniture than I have in my own house and those of the people I know. The bed was a sleigh bed also cherry and carved. I counted the drawers in the room in the 4 rooms of the suite, there were 21. I was only sleeping there for two nights, our arrival and the one night after our day of exploring, so I did not unpack my suitcase as we would be leaving in the morning. Not using all these drawers made me feel guilty so I put my glasses and wallet in one just before I went to sleep. The Air Force would say we would be leaving at zero dark thirty. There were probably only 4 or 5 other people and/or couples staying at the Inn but I did not see any of them, just their vehicles.
We had dinner at Ray’s Shanty on Chincoteague Road. If you drive the coast heading south after using the Cape May ferry this restaurant would be well worth the stop. https://www.raysshanty.com/ I had ½ pound of steamed shrimp from North Carolina; it came with fries, slaw, and hush puppies. This meal was incredible and only $17.95. Patty had 2 crab cakes made in the facility with the same sides that I had for $21.95. Just an FYI my shrimp size was XL, probably 16 – 20 per pound. Another thing I noticed was this place also sells fresh seafood; the sign said uncooked North Carolina shrimp the size I just ate, goes for $35 for 10 pounds (head and shell on). In New England we pay way too much for seafood and it is not as fresh. Patty and I were taken on a tour of the restaurant/facility while waiting for our table by the owner’s wife,. The owner, her husband, Captain Ray Twiford we met on our way out of the restaurant.
Adjacent to this base is a NASA installation that commands the oldest rocket launch range in the U.S. This might be interesting as they do offer tours, but we are visiting Chincoteague National Park tomorrow to visit and photograph the wild horses on nearby islands.
We did get to go to the NASA museum on our way back from Chincoteague. I was becoming paranoid with all of the “Restricted Area,” signs on this base, plus those of the NASA and was wondering what they were hiding. There were probably nine parabolic dishes pointed toward the sky, some at least five stories high. More rockets are shot from this base then Cape Canaveral, Kennedy’s Space Station, approximately 30 per year. The next one is May 31. If you are an engineer in the field this would be the place to be. https://www.nasa.gov/centers/wallops/home . Why might you ask, great food, low cost homes, incredible ocean views and parks and beaches everywhere.
I have always thought that buying a home on the Delaware portion of this three state peninsula as the state of DE has the 46th lowest tax rate of the lower 48 states. I guess taxes are most important to me anyway.
I did learn that the next full solar eclipse of the sun will be on August 21, 2017. A total solar eclipse will take place on Monday, August 21, 2017. A solar eclipse occurs when the Moon passes between Earth and the Sun, thereby totally or partly obscuring the image of the Sun for a viewer on Earth. Let us hope for good weather and no clouds as this phenomenon does not happen very often.
Having returned to my home once again I can return to my writing about inventions that changed mankind. This week we will talk about the Stethoscope.
Many people have heard their stomach growling or listened to their heartbeat in the middle of the night. But few know that inside the human body is a cacophony of sounds– from the gurgle of the intestines to the whisper of the lungs to the rush of the arteries and low rumble of other organs. Doctors can draw conclusions about patient’s health depending upon the sounds they hear through a stethoscope. The word “stethoscope” comes from the Greek words stehos, meaning “chest,” and skopein, meaning “to explore.”
Modern stethoscopes feature a round chest piece containing a hollow cup (bell) with a plastic disk, or diaphragm, inside it. When the piece is placed on the patient’s chest, body sounds vibrate the diaphragm, creating sound waves that travel up hollow rubber tubes to the listener’s ears. The bell transmits low-frequency sounds, while the diaphragm transmits higher-frequency sounds.
Rene Laennec invented the stethoscope in France in 1816. Reportedly, while walking in Paris, Laennec saw two children sending signals to each other using a long piece of solid wood and a pin. With an ear to one end, the child received an amplified sound of the pin scratching the opposite end of the stick. After much experimentation, Laennec came up with the first stethoscope. It consisted of a wooden tube and was connected to one ear only. The tool was very similar to the ear trumpet, a device used by the hard-of-hearing to listen to conversations.
Flexible-tube stethoscopes for one ear arrived in 1840. They were called ”snake ear trumpets.” In 1851 Irish physician Arthur Leared invented a binaural (two-eared) stethoscope which greatly improved the ability of a doctor to hear internal bodily sounds.
Today, physicians use many types of stethoscopes. The acoustic stethoscope is the most familiar, but there are also electronic stethoscopes (stethophones) that electronically amplify body sounds. They use a PC-based software that converts the sound into visual graphs that can be transmitted for remote diagnosis.
The invention of the stethoscope marked a major step in the redefinition of disease. Formerly identified as a bundle of symptoms, disease in the current sense is considered a bodily problem even if there are no noticeable symptoms. Using a stethoscope, a doctor can quickly tell the health of the lungs, heart, stomach, and intestines even if the patient notices no pain.
Here is another summer crockpot recipe. . .
Roasted Summer Squash with Pine Nuts and Romano Cheese
2 tablespoons olive oil
½ cup chopped yellow onion
1 medium red bell pepper chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
3 medium zucchini, cut into ½ -inch slices
3 medium summer squash, cut into ½ -inch slices
½ cup chopped pine nuts
1/3 cup grated Romano cheese
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon unsalted butter, cubed
Springs of fresh basil (optional
1. Heat oil in large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion, bell pepper and garlic; cook and stir 10 minutes or until onion is translucent and soft. Remove to Crockpot slow cooker. Add zucchini and summer squash; toss lightly.
I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it myself a couple times unintentionally... but this one is real, and it's important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e- mail list.
If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up
DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!!
They only want to see you in your birthday suit.
I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.
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Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home.
As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver.
"You know" he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?"
The driver said, "No problem. Have at it."
Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway.
A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap.
The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone.
The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and he got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure.
The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down, he was surprised to see who was driving. He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor.
He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to enforce the law...But I also know that important people are given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person."
The supervisor asked, "Is it the Governor?"
The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."
The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the President."
The young trooper said, "No, he's even more important than that."
The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?"
The young trooper said, "I think it's Jesus, because he's got Billy Graham for a chauffeur!"
Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be passing the beer and liquor section.
One nun asks the other if she would like a beer.
The other nun answered that would be good, but that she would be queasy about purchasing it.
The first nun said that she would handle it and picked up a six pack and took it to the cashier.
The cashier had a surprised look and the first nun said, "This is for washing our hair."
The cashier without blinking an eye, reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer saying, "Here, don't forget the curlers."