Good Morning in Japanese is "Ohayou,"
My computer could not print the letters in their spelling, just mine.
Starting Monday the 3rd of April visitors to Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom will go through metal detectors and get bags checked at the Transportation and Ticket Center. They always did the bag check but have now increased the search criteria to include metal items.
For me I feel anything to make the population safer is a good thing. Much of the world has gone mad.
almost hate putting the following into my letter as I know it is sure to start a fight. Some of these I have used before but some are new. These statements to me are just so funny I can’t help myself.
My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have sex?’
‘No,’ she answered.
I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’
...She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And that’s when the fight started...
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that’s when the fight started .....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes,” she sighed, He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
And that’s when the fight started....
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer...Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, “What’s on TV?”
I said, “Dust.”
And then the fight started...
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked the boat up to the van and proceeded to backout into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife’s back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”
My loving wife of 5 years replied, “And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”
And that’s how the fight started...
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started....
After retiring, I went to the social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt.’
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, ‘you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.”
And then the fight started...
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’
I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
And then the fight started.....
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said ‘I am NOT Happy!’
So I said, ‘Well, which one ARE you then?’
That’s how the fight started.
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, “Well you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”
And that’s how the fight started.
I think these were all written by Chuck Norris . . .
Actually by www.patriotchronicle.com
This weeks invention will be the rifle as the rifle has a much storied place in our social history.
A rifle is a shoulder weapon with a steel barrel attached to a wooden or plastic handle called the stock. A bullet cartridge gets inserted in the firing chamber at the opposite end, called the receiver, and the bullets leave the muzzle end of the weapon. A sight located on the muzzle helps the handler fire accurately, when the trigger is pulled, a spring releases the hammer to strike a firing pin and ignite a powder charge. The energy from the powder charge explosion forces the bullet from the chamber.
Firearms were first designed with smoothbore barrels that created very little friction, allowing for maximum speed of the projectile, but not necessarily accurate aim. In spite of long barrels, the maximum shooting range of these guns was limited to a distance of 50 to 75 yards.
To imitate the rifling (or angle) of bow-and -arrow feathers, which were much more accurate, blacksmiths began cutting spiraling grooves on the inside of gun barrels, significantly boosting the rifle’s accuracy and increasing the range of the weapon to 200 to 300 yards. These upgraded muskets – further improved with trigger-released, spring-loaded mechanisms that ignited gunpowder using an interior flint striking a steel surface – became referred to as rifles.
Although they provided terrific aim, the guns were not practical in combat. Unlike in smooth-barreled muskets, the gunpowder residue that remained in a rifle barrel after firing had to be cleaned more frequently. As a result, they were not the weapon of choice on the battlefield and were used primarily for hunting. Four centuries later, in the 1800s, advancements in manufacturing processes allowed for uniform mass production of commercial rifles. The Baker rifle became the first standard-issue rifle used by the British infantry.
The signature of the British-made weapon was the quarter twist or a quarter -turn, of rifling inside the 30-inch barrel. Until 1848, rifle ammunition consisted of soft lead balls that were loaded into the muzzle of the gun and pounded into place with a mallet. This process was time-consuming and left soldiers vulnerable during the time it took to reload. Then French army officer Claude-Etienne Minie introduced a cone-shaped lead bullet that could be loaded without using a ramrod or mallet. The new ammunition also proved more accurate and more lethal.
Now, even troops stationed away from the front lines had to protect themselves from far-reaching enemy fire, and the practice of building trenches and fortifications began. By 1863 repeater weapons – rifles that could fire seven shots in 30 seconds – were introduced, with the most famous design being the Spencer carbine.
Rifles continue to evolve even today.
In 2007, for instance, CVA Muzzleloaders released a muzzle-loading riffle called the electra, which features an electronic ignition that acts as a micro switch and transfers a charge when pressed. A spark created by a 9-volt battery fires the bullet when the trigger is activated, making the action of firing almost instantaneous.
More than a few Millennials have admitted to being stumped when asked to explain the function of the United States Congress.
It should not be that much of a surprise, however, when past Congresses have spent their time hauling in baseball stars to discuss steroid use in the MLB, subpoenaing oil execs to discuss why the price of gasoline was so high at one point, and inviting celebrities to talk about Alzheimer’s disease.
What exactly does the body of elected representatives in the nation’s capital do?
Simply put, Congress’ function is to write the laws, and to keep the other two branches of government in line.
So in 2010, when Congressional Democrats were openly admitting that they, “Didn’t have the time,” to read the Affordable Care Act in its entirely, but were certain that they knew what was in it because they had hired experts, an argument could be made that Congress had not done its job.
The Legislative Branch had written and passed a bill that the majority, if not all, of those who voted for did not read.
The Left has claimed that Congress had to ram the bill through because if everyone took the time to read it, analyze it, and pick it a part, the bill would have been held up for years, and health-care reform would not have happened.
However, as one of the architects of Obamacare, Jonathan Gruber, pointed out, the issue was not about time, but more about a lack of transparency.
The Obama administration and the Democrats in Congress had to keep the American people in the dark about what was exactly in the bill in order to get it through. They were counting on the complacency, and, according to Gruber, “the stupidity” of the American people.
The second function of the Legislative Branch is to keep the Judicial and Executive Branches in check, to ensure that neither one of them becomes too powerful.
For example, if a president were to rule through executive orders with his “mighty pen and phone,” or provide unauthorized prisoner exchanges with terrorist organizations or nations that sponsor terrorism, Congress would have the option to consider impeachment proceedings.
Congress also has the task of vetting every justice of the Supreme Court, and can weed out any potential judges who were members of La Raza (the race), and who stated that a Latino woman is better suited to make decisions than a white male.
Congress could also eliminate anyone who was a solicitor general for an administration, with absolutely zero judicial experience.
Perhaps the fact that congressional leaders have been failing, for years, in doing their jobs is the reason why the American people’s trust in Congress has been so low.
H/T The Federal Papers
Another recipe for moist cornbread from a reader
I made this two weeks ago and it was delicious!!
I doubled the batch and put in a bunte cake pan
Ingredients for rich and moist cornbread recipe
1 Box Jiffy Mix
1/4 cup vegetable oil
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup sour cream
a dash of cinnamon
a drop of vanilla flavoring
3 tablespoons of sugar
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease an 8 inch square or round pan.
2. Empty Jiffy mix into large mixing bowl. Stir in oil and 2 eggs. Mix in salt, sour cream, cinnamon, vanilla flavoring and sugar. Whisk until combined.
3. Pour batter into greased pan. Sprinkle 2 teaspoons of sugar overtop of the batter.
4. Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes, or until a knife inserted into the center of pan comes out clean
Chaucer's Ode to spring - 14th century english Canterbury Tales
Once again on the road,
From Orlando we went north to the Florida town that is farthest to the west, so far west it is in the next time zone, which is central. With Patty retired we are both now on a fixed limited income so to save money we decided to stay in government quarters. Our first try is with the Navy and I must say it is very nice, both clean and comfortable. We are located on the Naval Air Station, of Pensacola, Florida (www.dodlodging.net) ; we reserved three days using the Navy Gateway, Inns and Suites. What is great about this base is the location is right on Pensacola Bay so we have a beach. It is home to the Naval Air Museum, and a lighthouse. Another great thing is the Navy’s Blue Angels practice here probably twice a week. I will need to take a few pictures and Patty wants to get some autographs for the grand kids.
Last night we went into the city of Pensacola to eat at one of America’s great steakhouses, McGuire’s Irish Pub. Many of my friends would like this place as many drinks are in the $3 to $4 range. The walls were covered with money; my estimate is over 1 million, every square inch of the ceiling and walls down to about 3 feet. The money is not flat on a flat surface but hung perpendicular. There is so much money that sound does not carry and the Irish music is muted. They make all their beer and I had a red lager named, McGuire’s Irish Red. Patty drank something called an Emory Chenoweth, not sure what it contains but probably 10 inches high and only $3.50. My taste of it was delicious. There was a drink with a limit of 3 per person, served in an old fashion quart size Mason jar from the local cemetery, called “The Irish Wake” at a cost of $9.99. The seating capacity of this place was very close to 800 or 900 people. The parking lot was perhaps five acres. Many pictures of famous people are on the walls, more than one can imagine.
Day two: We went to the Naval Air Museum. It is huge and extensive, over 150,000 square feet and four stories high. One day is not enough, as there is so much history from WW1, through today. If I was going to say which is bigger the USAF or the USN, I would go to the USAF at Wright Patterson AFB. Pensacola trains most of the Naval Aviators if not all, some became very famous and some were our past presidents. Their planes and log books will be enshrined here forever.
There is a lighthouse on the base which posed nicely for some pictures. You can look up http://www.pensacolalighthouse.org/ there is also a museum attached. This is still a working lighthouse kept up by the Coast Guard.
The last day was a visit to a fort. It was Fort Pickens National Park. From the fort we watched the Blue Angels practice maneuvers, our very own private air show. There were six planes and they kept passing over and around the fort then back to the base and up into the sky. A great day especially after we left the fort for a nearby beach that gets 4.9 stars out of five. It was not crowded at all and many have said it is the best beach in the Eastern United States, Langdon Beach. If I return to Pensacola, I would stay at the Naval Lodge as it is closer to the museum and lighthouse with its own private beach. The beach used by the Inn I was in although also on base but perhaps two miles away, without the seclusion afforded by the lodge.
The next day we are off to stay on Joint Base Charleston, currently commanded by the A.F... We are staying at an Air Force Inn once again; it will be the least expensive nights of our trip. Unlike the old days when there were many clubs, the military has sort of made drinking out of vogue. Only one club on base now and this one had Bingo on the evening we arrived, however our arrival was an hour late to catch the entire evening’s game. There were two guaranteed $1,000 prizes included this evening along with all their normal prizes. We just ate in the Grill portion of the club, ran to the commissary and then back to our room. If anything was funny, we saw many open parking spaces in front of the club. Only trouble was the first 2 were for General Officers, the next 4 were for Colonels, then a few for Commanders of local units and the club manager. There was a group set aside for the E-9 enlisted also. I parked in the back.
We made our reservation again by using www.dodlodging.net for those active or retired military members with proper identification. I tried to read the regulation (AFI 37-135 24 September 2014) to see if DoD Civilian guests are authorized, as in the past I have stayed with DoD Civilians with Temporary Duty Orders while we were having required environmental training and could not decipher the policy. There are so many exceptions and rules I feel DoD Civilians with DoD ID cards might be eligible.
I did notice that rule 39 includes: Other DoD ID card holders not on official business to include disabled veterans.
It almost looks like many people are authorized so probably the best thing is just check and confirm eligibility.
Ok, off to Fort Sumter, the place where the American Civil War Began. Decades of growing strife between north and south erupted in civil war on April 12, 1861, when confederate artillery opened fire on this Federal fort in Charleston Harbor. Fort Sumter surrendered 34 hours later. Union forces would try for nearly four years to take it back. You can’t drive to it so we took a ferry. The place where the ferry started there were two naval ships the USS Yorktown (CV/CVA/CVS-10) is one of 24 Essex-class aircraft carriers built during World War II for the United States Navy. She is named after the Battle of Yorktown of the American Revolutionary War, and is the fourth U.S. Navy ship to bear the name. I did not catch the name of the destroyer.
This is a National Park so once again I got to use my park pass. If you are 62 or over you should spend the $10 for one of the passes. Once you pay the fee all National Parks are free for life, this includes the National Seashore on the Cape. I have got my $10 back many times over already and I bought it 3 or 4 years ago.
This is also the area my father went to college, he attended the U.S. military Academy called, “The Citadel.” His study was chemical engineering. This was also the start to get his commission and join the army’s, 101st Screaming Eagles and become a paratrooper during WWII. I did not have time to visit the Citadel museum so I might have to return on another trip.
I am not sure if I can call these vacations anymore. Where we are retired now I would say they are just trips, excursions or adventures.
Many of my friends know I was once a Democrat who was a McGovern supporter. While I was stationed in Texas I shook McGovern’s hand by the Alamo, in San Antonio , during a rally. This particular political party left me behind many years ago.
Great Orators of the Democrat Party – PAST:
"One man with courage makes a majority." ~ Andrew Jackson
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"The buck stops here." ~ Harry S. Truman
"Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for country." ~ John F. Kennedy
Great Orators of the Democratic Party today:
"It depends what your definition of 'is' is?'' President William Jefferson Clinton
"Those rumors are false. I believe in the sanctity of marriage." ~ John Edwards
"What difference does it make?" (Re: Benghazi) ~ Hillary Clinton
"I invented the Internet." ~ Al Gore (he did however vote to provide tax payer money for it’s startup)
"America is, is no longer, uh, what it, uh, could be, uh, what it was once was, uh, and I say to myself, uh, I don't want that future, uh, for my children." ~ Barack Obama
"I have campaigned in all 57 states." ~ Barack Obama (Quoted 2008)
"You don't need God anymore; you have us Democrats." ~ Nancy Pelosi (Quoted 2006) (A really, really stupid remark.)
"Paying taxes is voluntary." ~ Sen. Harry Reid
"Bill is the greatest husband and father I know. No one is more faithful, true, and honest than he is." ~ Hillary Rodham Clinton (Quoted1998)
"You have a business. You didn't build that. Someone else did!" ~ Barack Obama (Quoted 2012)
And the most ridiculous gem of wisdom, from the "Mother Superior Moron": "We just have to pass the Healthcare Bill to see what's in it." ~ Nancy Pelosi (Quoted March, 2010)
(As one Doctor said: “That is also the perfect definition of a stool sample.”)
A Great Republican: "Life is tough! It's even tougher when you are stupid.'' ~ John Wayne
Now I am on the Delmarva Peninsula and staying with a Navy Inn again. The internet and password are the same so my computer is happy. We drove all day (8 hours), had breakfast when we left but decided to have a nice dinner after we checked into Wallops Island, home of Surface Combat System Center (SCSC). It is located on a 6 square mile island with NASA. There are so few people around it is weird. The gate guard would open the gate electronically from his guard shack to let us in and out. The gate was roughly a 10 foot high fence on rollers. On my arrival there were about 8 men cooking on a bar-b-cue grill before they disappeared. This was the most people I saw during my entire stay. No base exchange, no club, no gas station, no commissary, just 3 or 4 buildings, a parking lot and a guard shack. The big building being what looked like a school for Navy training of Combat Systems. The gate guard could jog around all the buildings in probably 5 minutes.
One funny thing, other than the ghost base item above. A room is $70 and a suite is $70. I took the suite, being the bargain hunter, penny pincher that I am. All suites are on the second floor and all rooms on first floor. The furniture in the rooms was sort of early Virginian, which was ornately carved cherry wood, no fiber board here, not even plywood. Much better furniture than I have in my own house and those of the people I know. The bed was a sleigh bed also cherry and carved. I counted the drawers in the room in the 4 rooms of the suite, there were 21. I was only sleeping there for two nights, our arrival and the one night after our day of exploring, so I did not unpack my suitcase as we would be leaving in the morning. Not using all these drawers made me feel guilty so I put my glasses and wallet in one just before I went to sleep. The Air Force would say we would be leaving at zero dark thirty. There were probably only 4 or 5 other people and/or couples staying at the Inn but I did not see any of them, just their vehicles.
We had dinner at Ray’s Shanty on Chincoteague Road. If you drive the coast heading south after using the Cape May ferry this restaurant would be well worth the stop. https://www.raysshanty.com/ I had ½ pound of steamed shrimp from North Carolina; it came with fries, slaw, and hush puppies. This meal was incredible and only $17.95. Patty had 2 crab cakes made in the facility with the same sides that I had for $21.95. Just an FYI my shrimp size was XL, probably 16 – 20 per pound. Another thing I noticed was this place also sells fresh seafood; the sign said uncooked North Carolina shrimp the size I just ate, goes for $35 for 10 pounds (head and shell on). In New England we pay way too much for seafood and it is not as fresh. Patty and I were taken on a tour of the restaurant/facility while waiting for our table by the owner’s wife,. The owner, her husband, Captain Ray Twiford we met on our way out of the restaurant.
Adjacent to this base is a NASA installation that commands the oldest rocket launch range in the U.S. This might be interesting as they do offer tours, but we are visiting Chincoteague National Park tomorrow to visit and photograph the wild horses on nearby islands.
We did get to go to the NASA museum on our way back from Chincoteague. I was becoming paranoid with all of the “Restricted Area,” signs on this base, plus those of the NASA and was wondering what they were hiding. There were probably nine parabolic dishes pointed toward the sky, some at least five stories high. More rockets are shot from this base then Cape Canaveral, Kennedy’s Space Station, approximately 30 per year. The next one is May 31. If you are an engineer in the field this would be the place to be. https://www.nasa.gov/centers/wallops/home . Why might you ask, great food, low cost homes, incredible ocean views and parks and beaches everywhere.
I have always thought that buying a home on the Delaware portion of this three state peninsula as the state of DE has the 46th lowest tax rate of the lower 48 states. I guess taxes are most important to me anyway.
I did learn that the next full solar eclipse of the sun will be on August 21, 2017. A total solar eclipse will take place on Monday, August 21, 2017. A solar eclipse occurs when the Moon passes between Earth and the Sun, thereby totally or partly obscuring the image of the Sun for a viewer on Earth. Let us hope for good weather and no clouds as this phenomenon does not happen very often.
Having returned to my home once again I can return to my writing about inventions that changed mankind. This week we will talk about the Stethoscope.
Many people have heard their stomach growling or listened to their heartbeat in the middle of the night. But few know that inside the human body is a cacophony of sounds– from the gurgle of the intestines to the whisper of the lungs to the rush of the arteries and low rumble of other organs. Doctors can draw conclusions about patient’s health depending upon the sounds they hear through a stethoscope. The word “stethoscope” comes from the Greek words stehos, meaning “chest,” and skopein, meaning “to explore.”
Modern stethoscopes feature a round chest piece containing a hollow cup (bell) with a plastic disk, or diaphragm, inside it. When the piece is placed on the patient’s chest, body sounds vibrate the diaphragm, creating sound waves that travel up hollow rubber tubes to the listener’s ears. The bell transmits low-frequency sounds, while the diaphragm transmits higher-frequency sounds.
Rene Laennec invented the stethoscope in France in 1816. Reportedly, while walking in Paris, Laennec saw two children sending signals to each other using a long piece of solid wood and a pin. With an ear to one end, the child received an amplified sound of the pin scratching the opposite end of the stick. After much experimentation, Laennec came up with the first stethoscope. It consisted of a wooden tube and was connected to one ear only. The tool was very similar to the ear trumpet, a device used by the hard-of-hearing to listen to conversations.
Flexible-tube stethoscopes for one ear arrived in 1840. They were called ”snake ear trumpets.” In 1851 Irish physician Arthur Leared invented a binaural (two-eared) stethoscope which greatly improved the ability of a doctor to hear internal bodily sounds.
Today, physicians use many types of stethoscopes. The acoustic stethoscope is the most familiar, but there are also electronic stethoscopes (stethophones) that electronically amplify body sounds. They use a PC-based software that converts the sound into visual graphs that can be transmitted for remote diagnosis.
The invention of the stethoscope marked a major step in the redefinition of disease. Formerly identified as a bundle of symptoms, disease in the current sense is considered a bodily problem even if there are no noticeable symptoms. Using a stethoscope, a doctor can quickly tell the health of the lungs, heart, stomach, and intestines even if the patient notices no pain.
Here is another summer crockpot recipe. . .
Roasted Summer Squash with Pine Nuts and Romano Cheese
2 tablespoons olive oil
½ cup chopped yellow onion
1 medium red bell pepper chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
3 medium zucchini, cut into ½ -inch slices
3 medium summer squash, cut into ½ -inch slices
½ cup chopped pine nuts
1/3 cup grated Romano cheese
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon unsalted butter, cubed
Springs of fresh basil (optional
1. Heat oil in large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion, bell pepper and garlic; cook and stir 10 minutes or until onion is translucent and soft. Remove to Crockpot slow cooker. Add zucchini and summer squash; toss lightly.
I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it myself a couple times unintentionally... but this one is real, and it's important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e- mail list.
If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up
DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!!
They only want to see you in your birthday suit.
I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.
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Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home.
As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver.
"You know" he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?"
The driver said, "No problem. Have at it."
Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway.
A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap.
The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone.
The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and he got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure.
The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down, he was surprised to see who was driving. He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor.
He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to enforce the law...But I also know that important people are given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person."
The supervisor asked, "Is it the Governor?"
The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."
The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the President."
The young trooper said, "No, he's even more important than that."
The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?"
The young trooper said, "I think it's Jesus, because he's got Billy Graham for a chauffeur!"
Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be passing the beer and liquor section.
One nun asks the other if she would like a beer.
The other nun answered that would be good, but that she would be queasy about purchasing it.
The first nun said that she would handle it and picked up a six pack and took it to the cashier.
The cashier had a surprised look and the first nun said, "This is for washing our hair."
The cashier without blinking an eye, reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer saying, "Here, don't forget the curlers."