retirees answers if interested
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.
Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
And, my very favorite....
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied....
'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented..
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?' the reporter asked...
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them.
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate
cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.'
Greetings once again, 31 Oct 2017
Two Sundays of missed football. I have in fact watched roughly 15 minutes of two Pats game highlights. That is it. They have lost my viewing roughly 15 hours of football. I hope Roger Goodell get’s it. My letter likes it as the process gets more attention but my grocery store does not as I have not had a home tailgate party for two weekends.
From a friend in Florida:
To the NFL and its players,
If I have brain cancer, I don’t ask my dentist what I should do.. If my car has a problem, I don’t seek help from a plumber! Why do you think the public cares what a football player thinks about politics? If we want to know about football, then depending on the information we seek, we might consult with you, but even a quarterback doesn’t seek advice on playing his position from a defensive tackle!
You seem to have this over inflated view of yourselves, thinking because you enjoy working on such a large scale stage, that somehow your opinion about everything matters. The NFL realizes the importance of its “image” so it has rules that specify the clothes and insignia you can wear, the language you use, and your “antics” after a touchdown or other “great” play. But somehow you and your employer don’t seem to care that you disgrace the entire nation and its 320 million people in the eyes of the world by publicly disrespecting this country, its flag, and its anthem! The taxpaying citizens of this country subsidize your plush work environments, yet you choose to use those venues to openly offend those very citizens.
Do you even understand what the flag of this country means to so many of its citizens before you choose to “take a knee” in protest of this “country" during our national anthem?
You may think because you are paid so much that your job is tough, but you are clueless when it comes to tough. You are spoiled babies who stand around and have staff squirt GatorAid in your mouths, sit in front of misting cooling fans when it’s warm, and sit on heated benches when it's cold. That’s not “tough” that's pampered.
You think that you deserve to be paid excessively high salaries, because you play a “dangerous" game where you can incur career ending injuries. You think that deserve immediate medical attention and the best medical facilities and doctors when injured. You have no idea what it is like to really need and deserve medical attention.
Here are the longest wait times for vets needing primary care, The Source is VA patient access data posted in LA Times
Honolulu - 144.7 days
Texas Valley Coastal Bend HCS - 85.2 days
Fayetteville, NC - 83.3 days
Baltimore HCS - 80.8 days
Portland, Ore - 79.9 days
Columbia, S.C. - 76-8 days
Central Alabama Veterans HCS - 74.6 days
Providence, RI - 73.8
Richmond, VA - 72.7 days
VA Central Western MA - 72 days
Canandaigua, NY - 71.8 days
Wilmington, Del - 63.3
You think you have the right to disrespect the flag of the United States, the one our veterans fought for, risked limbs and mental stability to defend, in many cases died for.
You believe you are our heroes, when in reality you are nothing but overpaid entertainers, who exist solely for our enjoyment! Well, your current antics are neither entertaining nor enjoyable, but rather a disgrace to this country, its citizens, all our veterans and their families, and the sacrifices they have made to ensure this country remains free. You choose to openly disgrace this country in the eyes of the rest of the world, yet with all your money, still choose to live here rather than in any other country. People with even the slightest amount of “Class” will stand and respect our flag. Where does that put you?
You can protest policies, the current government, or anything else you choose, that is your right. But when you “protest” our flag and anthem, you are insulting the nation we all live in and love, and all those who have served, been injured, or died to keep it free. There is nothing you can do or say that can make your actions anything more than the arrogance of classless people, who care about themselves more than our country or the freedoms for which our veterans and their families have sacrificed so much, to ensure you have the “right” to speak freely. Our country is far from perfect, but if you can point to any other country where your freedom and opportunities are better than they are here, then you just might want to go there and show respect for their flag!
If you respect America and all those who have sacrificed so much to keep her free, please forward this to your friends and relatives. Eventually, it should end up in the mailboxes of those who choose to disrespect our country, its service members, our veterans, their families, and all of us who appreciate the freedoms America represents.
Five deadly terms used by a woman
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is right and you need to shut-up.
2. Nothing: means something & you need to be worried.
3. Go Ahead: this is a dare, not permission, do not do it.
4. Whatever: A woman’s way of saying screw you.
5. That’s Okay: she is thinking long and hard on how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Bonus Word: WOW!
This is not a compliment. She’s amazed that one person could be so stupid.
To my female readers...Here are this seasons winter coats and jackets that are available on Amazon. Over a quarter of a million items on 48 pages. I can truly see why the brick and mortar stores are closing
I am not sure, but if you think about it, Amazon does not have a store. I do think that if any vendor does not aggressively go into internet sales they are doomed to fail.
It might just be me but I have noticed a food additive that is very pervasive in our diets. It is something called, “Caramel color.” It must be a small amount as it is usually listed last. I have been told that highest percentages come first down to the lowest percentages, which would be last.
This was written seven years ago by Dave Mulder
Caramel color: What the heck is it?
I’ve recently talked a little bit about Mexican Coca-Cola, which is sweetened with real sugar. A reader alerted me that my advocacy of Mexican Coke glossed over the ingredient known as “caramel coloring”.
If you read through ingredient labels as often as I do, you know that caramel coloring is pervasive in foods. Widespread use makes caramel color the most popular food color additive available.
Making caramel color
Creating the color additive is as simple as caramelizing (heating) sugar. Sugar, in this sense, might mean a glucose syrup (like corn syrup), or another form of simple carbohydrate. Carefully applying heat will yield a bitter amber liquid that smells like burnt sugar. That’s caramel color.
Types of caramel color
Several types of caramel color are produced and used in food products. 60-70% of all caramel coloring falls into Class IV, which is a dark additive used in soft drinks and other acidic environments. Class IV caramel coloring contains sulfites, which some people may have sensitivity to.
Class III caramel coloring is lighter than Class IV coloring, and is often referred to as brewer’s caramel because beer manufacturers use it when creating darker ales. (This makes me ill as I thought beer was in its natural state. I have made beer and I do not remember adding any food color.)
Health risks of caramel coloring
Caramelization changes the structure of a sugar, meaning that it’s a tad different. This difference could have an impact on health.
Caramel coloring is approved by the FDA for use without certification in food products. In other words, the FDA believes caramel coloring to be generally safe for human consumption (though there certainly other things on that list I avoid, like HFCS).
No known health risks exist for caramel coloring, though one study suggested that caramel coloring (in high doses) could induce hypertension (this seems to be pure speculation, though). A handful of websites criticizing caramel coloring have incorrectly interpreted those studies.
We can’t really say, however, that caramel coloring has been proven to be safe. We just know that it has been used for a very long time. A thorough, longitudinal study on the effects of caramel coloring would be a nice addition to the literature.
Is caramel color natural?
Generally, yes. Caramel color is derived from natural sources (sugar or corn). But so are compounds like high fructose corn syrup.
Certainly, the form of sugar used in creating the caramel color will be a refined product. It’s natural, but about two steps away from a natural state of existence.
Caramel color and caramelization have been around for ages, though the additive that makes Coca-Cola dark probably arrived through a modern production process.
So, will you continue consuming caramel color?
Yes, though I’ll be more acutely aware of the volume of caramel color I’m putting into my gullet. The most significant natural-food drawback is that caramel coloring is produced from a refined sugar product; this is something we should generally try to reduce in our diets.
Next is from Wikipedia, an internet site to whom I send money as I refer to this site often and feel I owe somebody for the access to the information.
Caramel color or caramel coloring is a water-soluble food coloring. It is made by heat treatment of carbohydrates, in general in the presence of acids, alkalis, or salts, in a process called caramelization. It is more fully oxidized than caramel candy, and has an odor of burnt sugar and a somewhat bitter taste. Its color ranges from pale yellow to amber to dark brown
More at Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caramel_color
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I thought I was finished with the caramel color thing but Patty asked me if it is in fact natural. Here we explore the question: Is caramel color natural?
This is from Lisa Marshall written in December 2014
Caramelized sugar, derived from corn, wheat, cane, beets or another form of simple carbohydrate. The manufacturing process varies depending on the class: Class I, or “plain,” is heated to caramelize it. Class II, otherwise known as “caustic sulfite caramel,” is used in select alcoholic beverages and uses sulfites in manufacturing. Class III (often used in beer, baked goods and confections) uses ammonium. Class IV, which makes up about three-quarters of caramel color sales, uses sulfites and ammonium. The lower the class, in general, the lighter the color.
It’s the most broadly used coloring in existence, accounting for roughly 80 percent of colorings, according to ingredient supplier DD Williamson. It is ubiquitous in colas, soy sauce, seasonings, breads, cereals and pet food.
“This is a concentrated dark brown mixture of chemicals that does not occur in nature.”
Michael Jackson. CSPI director
In February 2011, the Center for Science in the Public Interest petitioned the Food and Drug Administration to ban Class III and Class IV caramel coloring, alleging it was contaminated with two “cancer-causing chemicals” 2-methylimidazole and 4-methylimidazole (4-MEI), created as an unintended byproduct of the manufacturing process. CSPI also asked that no products containing the two colorants be allowed to be labeled natural. “Most people would interpret ‘caramel coloring’ to mean ‘colored with caramel,’” said CSPI director Michael Jacobson. “This is a concentrated dark brown mixture of chemicals that does not occur in nature.”
In January 2012, California began requiring a cancer warning on products containing more than 29 micrograms of 4-MEI. According to a recent report by Consumer Reports, many beverages—including Pepsi One and Malta Goya still significantly exceed those levels.
I think that is enough about Caramel....since it is in about 80 percent of our food I see no way to avoid it and now with our pets eating it we are all doomed.
Perhaps Walter is right with his current book of “Fast Food Genocide.”
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. "OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!"
One witch told another witch, "I want one of those new computers that has a spell checker."